I only spit the illest of truths
I'm Denise and pretend to know what I'm talking about 150% of the time. If I can't blow you away with my brilliance, I'll just baffle you with my bullshit.

Text: Double D
  • Brian: ...Is everything okay?
  • De: Yeah, I'm just tired. I don't like that you're ~scared~ of me.

Text: Double D
  • Brian: In a good way, though.
  • De: Yeah, of course.

Text: Double D
  • Brian: You scare me at times
  • De: I don't mean to, I'm sorry...

Text: Double D
  • Brian: I didn't really know you in college so
  • De: GOOD

Text: Double D
  • Brian: Everybody wants to be Meredith because then I'll love them duh
  • Brian: That's true, you're not that much of an asshole.
  • Denise: Obviously.
  • Denise: I've truly toned it down since college.

Text: Double D
  • Brian: I knew it
  • Brian: I always knew it
  • Brian: The longing looks
  • Brian: The flirty smiles
  • Brian: The way you always seem to just want me
  • Brian: I knew you were in love with me
  • Brian: How could you not be?
  • Brian: I'm pretty rad
  • Brian: Oh, I'd definitely fit in with a family of assholes
  • Brian: Assholes are lyf
  • Denise: Obviously, that's why I'm trying to become Meredith.
  • Denise: So you'll love ME
  • Denise: We're not ALL assholes.

mereditty reblogged this from you and added:

I can see why you would.
He’s lame and smells grody.
posted 11 months ago with 2 notes

Text: Double D
  • Brian: There's a thinly veiled line between hate and love you know
  • Brian: I think by 'hate'
  • Brian: You mean 'secretly in love with'
  • Brian: So really
  • Brian: You're secretly in love with me
  • Brian: Aw dude that story was hectic
  • Brian: I wish /my/ parents would feed me spam all the time
  • Brian: Spam is fanfuckingtastic
  • Brian: I fucking love spam
  • Denise: You caught me.
  • Denise: Want my dad? His sons an asshole, he'll be happy to adopt you.

Meredith,

I hate your boyfriend.

posted 11 months ago with 2 notes

Text: Double D
  • Brian: You smell
  • Brian: nice
  • Brian: spam
  • Brian: is a nice type of canned ham, wouldn't you say?
  • Brian: sizzling
  • Brian: bacon
  • Brian: nomnomnom
  • Brian: Man I love spam
  • Brian: The ham I mean not the useless kind
  • Brian: Gosh, don't you just hate it when people flood your inbox with useless shit?
  • Brian: The other day my friend sent me porn
  • Brian: I was all
  • Brian: Dude I have a girlfriend I don't need porn
  • Brian: And she was all
  • Brian: But I know the director
  • Brian: And I was all
  • Brian: What the fuck
  • Brian: So apparently
  • Brian: I have friends connected to the pornographic industry
  • Brian: Isn't that interesting?
  • Brian: I could get you a gig
  • Brian: But that's gross
  • Brian: Porn is nasty shit
  • Brian: You don't want to get involved in that, Denise
  • Brian: WHat you SHOULD get involved in
  • Brian: Is spam
  • Brian: Spam spam spam
  • Brian: Spam makes my day
  • Brian: Spam on toast
  • Brian: Spam on rice
  • Brian: Spam on noodles
  • Brian: Spam is just
  • Brian: Magnificent.
  • Denise: I hate you.
  • Denise: Porn isn't for me anymore.
  • Denise: My dad was a stay at home papa from the time Mike and I were born until we were about six. All he ever fed us was spam. He'd fry it up and shovel it onto our plates. I hate spam now.